fuck life.

u didnt tell me anything about it.
wow.
fucked up.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
its the day again. 8th nov.
the day when she said yes to me.
=)

its really not easy to make it this far.
however, we did it!

so this year, we went for a wonderful celebration.
firstly, lunch at crystal jade!
though service wasnt that good.
but nevertheless, ate quite well.
prawns, vege..
after that, we watched game plan.
woah, good movie.
nice and touching.

we didnt eat dinner cos the food at crystal jade kinda hard to digest. lol.
had a walk at suntec city then went back home.
though it wasnt much for the big day.
but we had fun =)

here are some pics to enjoy ^^



me!



us!



mine!



ribs are nice! haha.

okay! thats it for the day.
=D

to hell with life.

getting sick and tired of the heavy expenses.
everyone has their own life now.
when will i have mine?
my life becomes so tough and hard that it becomes so boring.
boring life. no, life aint boring.. im boring.
yea.
even i feel that the course im studying right now wont earn me much in future.
everything is not going my way.
i may lose some things.
or either give up some things.
but often i really lose alot of things.
things are just so unpredictable.
like a game of pool.
if its a race to 11, and i'm leading 7-2.
after 45mins later it becomes 11-8 in the favour of the opponent.
ya, i may say.. what the fuck?
but people would say, its just too bad, brother.

happy birthday!

happy birthday darling.
=)
hope all yr wishes and dreams come true.
26 days away to where we started out 1 year ago.
im so glad.
to have u.

sigh.
am i a saint or a devil?
i dont know.
u tell me.

100th post and a unusual story to tell.

today. for the first time in many years, i went to the zoo. lol.
was a little excited like a little boy, together with a baby(her). haha.

first of all, we reached a little early like 5 plus and wanted to eat before we went in. At first we saw a few hawkers and their chicken rice power man...$17 per set. omg. day light major robbery. might as well go rob the bank. waahahaa. siao one.
after that we found a KFC (thank god) that is so much cheaper than the chicken rice over there at mandai zoo. after we ate we proceeded to buy the tickets.. woah 22 bucks per adult, thanks to baby's POSB card, got discount.. wahaha.. she always bring cards that have discounts =x
we quickly went in to grab a pair of seats at the side and waited for the night animal show to start.. haha, it was funny and entertaining.. big snakes, wild cats, owls and all those little night creatures.. =)
after the show, we took a tram all around the zoo to see all the fearsome and cute animals.. ' tigers, lions, deers, hippo, pigs, zebras... so many other weird creatures ' oh theres this gliding squirrel.. omg, when it open its "wings" and glide, ahh so scary but thought it was cool after that.. haha.. baby and i took a long walk in the zoo to finish it and i sent her back to her home sweet home. what a great day.. broke now, but so happy =D
and thats my 100th post for today ..
pictures of us at the zoo below ^^


night safari!


tickets to enter!


taken before entering.


baby elephant? =X


we didnt take much pictures on animals because it was dark and didnt wanted to use flash because it will blind the animals for a split second. =/ i kinda forgot what is these animals called .. haha.

some of the animals were sleeping.. feel sad for them, like so lonely.. i bet they missed the wild so much.. poor elephants, hippos and many others.. =(
hope the get a good treatment from the zoo.

i hate myself. and i wont forgive myself either.

having holidays now..
doing a mass search for jobs and so far nobody wants to employ me.
screw them.
sick and tired.

HAPPY 10 MONTHS! =P

yesterday, went to east coast park with dearie for some cycling fun =)
we took lots of photos together, funny poses and stuff..
sat at the jetty till sunset and went back to return the bicycle.
after which we went to eat at tampines mall.. ^^
----------------------------------------------------
i may not be perfect, but i will try to keep everything intact.
----------------------------------------------------

today, i had my breakfast cum lunch cum dinner all in one meal. =/
haha, after which me and dearie had some pool action at cine.
followed by the great movie ' no reservation ' thanks baby!
left cine and sent her home.

10

the perfect 10months of up and lows in my life.
nothing is perfect without the little bits of sweet and sour.
hold on with me and i'll walk through the darkest side of life with you.

i need a job.
=/

too free for the time being.
ultimate boredom!
omg.

anybody wants to hire me?
haha.. i'm willing to do anything.. =P
not really "anything" though..

oh another paper and all will be done.
just wait another 24hrs.
i can do it.
yea.

------------------

theres more things to learn, and i appreciate whatever anyone has taught me.
it makes me feel like a grown man.
another step into total maturity.
sense of achievement.
=)

------------------

sigh..
i'll walk through this path no matter what.
lets go.

after i got into my 20s, i've realise and learnt many many things.
1 very important thing is the time ive wasted.
and i cannot buy them back with my money.
so i have to work hard to stop wasting time.
i wish i can just swim through the river of lava smoothly.
and reach the destination ive yearned to have.

oh well, went to watch fireworks with dear yesterday..
wow, 15mins of fireworks action.
was quite amazing..
1 of the fireworks turn out to be a ball with a ring around it..
like the planet saturn.. lol. style sia.
oh and before that was the movie rush hour 3.. haha had a really good laugh out of it. ^^

exams are approaching.. and im looking forward to it =)

gotta study now~

1 year ago.

one year ago of today.
i saw her.
9months ago, we are together.
till now.

=)

the first time i saw her was near the esplanade .. some where further down the bay..
they were waiting to watch fireworks, and i was late..
when i reached, said hi to everyone but i didnt really notice her yet.
maybe till the coffee shop then i started stealing glances at her..
haha..

started admiring her at the first place..
so we became friends for awhile..
after which i asked her out..
never once she rejected my dates..
and finally i had the chance to open up my feelings..
that was when K² was born..

she was a nice and beautiful lady..
after we got together, i realise that shes fun loving, never once showed temper..
we both clicked very well..
but there are definitely bad times..
still, we overcome the problems..

we both agreed on an aim yesterday night..
an aim to strive hard..
for the future..

and i shall keep this aim in mind.. forever.. =)

exams are approaching.. sigh.....

today.. went to granny's house..
been a long time didnt see her.. she's still as strong as she looks
=)

stayed till 4pm and well over to dear's place to pick her up.
we went for dinner and caught a nice view of fireworks at marina square.. =)
its a nice feeling... like a year ago..
where i first saw her.. heh heh..
didnt know she'll be mine ^^

hoooo~

time to call baby and head to bed!
nites!

pictures.

roar?!


sweeeet!


smoooooocccchieee~~!


mmmmmmmm~!

choices.
either right or wrong.
if wrong? u end up all haywire, leaving u in a pool of quicksand.. helpless.
if right? u enjoy a glass of fine wine, leaving u in a heavenly state.. enjoyment.

i want to choose the right choice.
its a lesson to be learnt.

ive been having bad dreams lately.
wont reveal the content.
leaves me banging on the soft cushion of the king coil spring bed with anger.
its like.. i awoken from the bad dream, but was still feeling tired and return to sleep. the dream continued to PART 2.. omg.
i feel so miserable.
i just wish that no dreams of my come true.
oh, its not just one times.. been quite a few times that it continued to part 2.
it really kills.
im so tired now, i've never really blogged at 1045am on a sunday morning which i suppose that i should be in bed.
but its really to scary to return to bed.
sigh..

- 3th AUG -
darling came over to tp to find me after my project and we went off to cine leisure for some fun. she taught me sometimes about what they call "FUNNY BONE". ahah! its actually the bone between yr neck and yr shoulders. have yr dearest person to rub it for you and u'll actually find yrself laughing.. its really funny and i dont know why.. hahah~

- 4th AUG -
accompanied darling to her friend's(Shang min) service..
together with her 3 other Dar`Os (darling) .. 1 had a boyfriend tagged along too. haha. had fun really. quite wild =x
after the service, we all went to a nearby hawker center to eat.
the service there was VERY bad.
If u actually sit on a table that belongs to a certain store, U MUST BUY THEIR DRINKS! even though the table is inside the same big hawker. they actually chased us away for not not listening to them and bought other store's drinks..
we were like ok lo.. mm... been a lovely weekend..
=)

lastly i would like to talk about myself..
i feel that ive change quite abit recently, i dont know what but i felt so.
mm... never felt so for a long long time..
i hope that i wont be affected so badly, just wanna stay calm.
yea..

hey, even hell is walkable, if that's your hand in mine.
=)

school stinks..
sigh.. i hate being in a group full of losers who dont even care..
hope they get kicked in the face.. and then they'll wake up to their mistakes..

these days.

this entire week is just so busy.
no time to take a breath from anything that i do.
everything must be in a hurry.
including this post that im writing.
just wanna say that 1 presentation down, 1 quiz to go for this week.
1 lab test and another quiz for next week.
just wanna swim through all obstacles and rest.
its really cold these days.
and i seriously hate it.
its making me shiver. =(
sigh.
what makes the week more terrible is not getting to see u often.
and i dont know why am i having those bad dreams.
i dont wanna live my life this way.
i just hope that i have time with u, time to rest and time to do the things i like.
thats all that i could ever ask for.
right now... i need to study.
yea.. bye readers.

IBIZA!

its a wonderful friday night with little miss baby kylie ..
LOL..
loved the Hong kong cafe..
hong kong FAMOUS baked cheese pork chop spagetti.. woo hoo.. damn nice lor.. =P

sent her home after strolling ard town.. =)

okay! for this week...
Monday - boring and LONG school day as usual every week..
Tuesday - met up with baby at cityhall for some great fun =)
Wednesday - Skipped lessons at 2-4pm to go home earlier.. LOLed
Thursday(today) - nothing much, school till 5pm studied from 7plus till now..11pm

its really cold these days..
i wanna bring a jacket to school tomorrow..
really tired.. no time to lose..
many quizes coming up next week..
gonna be real busy and gotta study alot..

1 entire month of enduring hardship is to be paid..
really tough but yea.. i need it to survive..
its a realistic world out there..
money is everything..
haha..
yea.. geez...

ahh.. wad a sunday..
stayed home all day to watch the guinness 9 ball tour competition.
a little tired but was pretty warmed up by some studying..
as usual was irritated due to some tough questions but cant be angry about it because it really does no good.
decided to take a break thats why im blogging now.. haha

havent been blogging very constantly now these days because i dont have really much spirit in me to share my life on the net.
Perhaps i can share some jokes with u all here.. =P

Joke 1: I once knew a matchstick that scratched it's head and died.

Joke 2: Do you know the Ocean's joke? ( no? because it's too deep for you.)

haha.. did u all had a good laugh?
yea i hope u guys did.

Alex Pagulayan!
anyone knows whos he?
i acknoledge him as the best pool/snooker player alive.
he somehow contains the blood of efren reyes.
lol.. wondering if all of u are pool fans here?

went to watch harry potter with baby on fri..
kinda short of excitment being a 2 hr 18min movie.
=/

ohh.. gotta go eat dinner now..
dad's calling alr..
cya all another time .. =)

=)
a wonderful birthday celebration on friday..
first of all, i would like to thank baby for everything..
met her up after her school and went over to cityhall to eat at NewYorkNewYork
haha..
the food was good ..
some pasta with half chicken.. o.o
the present was even better..
adidas bag..woah..
she went all over singapore to find it..
haha.. vivo, bugis, suntec.. =) touched..
play a little pool after dinner and went home..

the next day, we met up again..
went to east coast to relax by the shore...
saw some helicopters really flying near us..
got 1 of them also had a singapore flag tied to it .. haha
such great fun.. =)
i'll nv forget it baby..
all the pictures are currently with her.. haha so..
may upload it the next post ^^
woo hoo.. best day of the year...!!!

looks like its gonna rain..
the sky threatens with its grey clouds..
should i go out?
or should i stay home?

i miss you..
wish i could see u for a sec everyday..
though it may seem pathetic..
but thats the only thing i wish i could do..
enough said.



*stares into outer space*

MapleStory. where it all began. =)

its me and you.

mushrooms! run...!

happy b-day maplesea. =)

maple fever!


thats where we went today.
and speaking of maple.. its how i get to know you.
love u sweeties =)
thats it.

we all learn as we grow
till the very end
i still have many things to learn
just hope i can be a better person
so as to click with this world
i just wanna be the best
though sometimes i am not
to let others feel my sincerity
to let them feel my presence

lets just see what today brings
and plan for tomorrow
i dont want to let myself go wasted
and have feel control of myself

=)

im tired.

happy 7 months.

pictures we took =)

us


fiona? =x

psst..



slurp.. smooooochhe.. =P


had a great day.. =)

today.

woke up at 7plus with bloodshot eyes..
sat infront of my pc around 950am..
found a useful software and started making a video..
left home at 12:05pm for a test at 12:30pm in school..
reached home at 5:05pm ..
studied a little just now..
11:45pm now..
basically i didnt talk for more than 3 sentence today..
i think i said hi to 2 friends..
said i'm done to the lecturer..
and hi to my brother..
maybe thats why im not thirsty as i realise that i drank only 2 cups of water till now..
my mind cannot relax..
its always working..
it never will till i finish what im suppose to do..
=/

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my heart hurts like hell..
total agony.. =(
ive learnt so many mistakes today...
i guess my mind wont be able to rest tonight..

not worthy anymore..
i dont deserve anything..
begin my torment..
somebody stab me..
strip me of all valuables..
kill me..

its always the same way i've been..
so hard to change for the better..
its like an addiction..
it creeps onto you when you arent noticing..
i wanna destroy it..
heart demon please go..
or i'll ask someone to purge you from me..
put a spear through yr head..
please....
i know i can..
please..
=(

if i can destroy my own demon..
life would be so beautiful..
grab a spear and thrust it into yr heart..
see u fade away like dust..
you're destroying me kelvin..
go...away...

term test..

oh yea.. term test is finally coming..
i feel numb.. like somehow i dont feel affected ..
but on the other hand.. scared..
hopefully i can do my very best and score..

meeting up darling to study later..
=)

family part 2

family.. what is family? i dont know what or how it feels like anymore. Can someone tell me what is it? i'm in a house.. living with strangers.. i feel like im living with friends instead. no love no nothing.. yes i do get weekly allowance.. but i dont get what money cant buy.. L.O.V.E. what is the kind of love i'm looking for?
i dont know.. there are many kinds of love out there.. maybe i need a lil bit of all? or alot of one kind? i dont know.. is GOD the solution? does he provide love?
if so i wanna try some.. hey pls come down and shine the way.. i'm blind.. im like in a situation whereby air is love and i'm in a quicksand gasping for that 'love' ..
and because of this huge desparate want of love.. i've changed.. into another person i totally feel so disgusted about.. what's wrong with me? why am i like this? should i see a doctor? i need to understand the morals of life.. someone teach me please.

2 days ago.. i had a happy friday nite..
it was ohh so perfect..
i ended sch around one plus and went home to chill abit..
met out with darling and we had a wonderful evening..
watched blades of glory .. LOL.. omg was so funny and lame..
afterwhich went to eat fish and Co.
here are some pictures.. =)

=)

i want kiss kiss

*mmm* shes hungry

had a wonderful night out..
loved the atmosphere at fish & co.
=D

my baby.

no one shall post a threat or make her feel uncomfortable.

glad to be out with baby once again..
our 6th month together..
went to eat sakae sushi..
damn full.. haha..
but i didnt buy the bag i want lei.. so sian..
=/
still happy though.. ^^

family.

My family life somehow changed drastically.. Dad become more of the family guy doing the chores, Mom is nowhere to be found but last heard working outside and Brother is busy with his upcoming Battle Of The Year(Singapore).

I begin to love my dad more and more.
He provides the family with everything it needs.
The money he worked so hard to get is pumped into utility bills, phone bills, my education.. etcetc..
now that i realise what hes going through, i decided to be more independent.
shall not ask if for extras unless i really have to.
I pity him and blame myself for not being able to think hard enough in the past.
i've wasted so many years retaining in secondary school.
Normal(A) was already bad enough, and i still retain in sec 3.
2 years wasted.
if not, i should be already out of poly and preparing myself for NS.
Dad always tell me.. i want you to go University and get a double degree.
I thought " i would love to.. but can i? "
so i told him okay.
but im not really doing so well in poly but manage to get into year 2.
year 2 is really a BUSY year.
just looking at my time table would make me wanna hop off the roof.(nah, joking)
aiming to do well in this semester 2.1
went around to look for a CCA as well.
SPORTS CLIMBING.
went for the orientation and found out that climbing is not so easy after all.
u need to have strength+technique.
not so simple.
hope that i can get into the team.(20 people max)
currently 300+ people signed up, but my new friend whom ive made during day 1 of the orientation told me he would not come anymore as hes here to try out only.
i dont know to be happy or sad.
just hope that this time round, i must earn their team shirt.
to be the top/best 20.

Went to my cousin's birthday party and PasirRis Chalet.
Saw my grandmother yesterday..
she still look fine and healthy =)
missed her and had a nice conversation with her.
she told me she didnt feel well these days and also visited a doctor.
just hope that shes really fine.
Big Shout Out to Yuda * happy birthday , didnt get u anything because im tight lately. hoped u enjoy yr party last night =D *

Woke up around 10:40am this morning by a call looking for my dad.
feel like a few more mins of sleep could be more perfect.
dad wasnt around as he went to buy food for my and my brother.
so i went to use the pc awhile.
felt tired again after my meal and went back to sleep.
woke up at 3:45pm feeling more tired.
guess i didnt wanna sleep anymore and here i am blogging.
actually wanted to study.
but couldnt find my foolscape paper.
damn.


Sometimes.....
life is full of mysteries.. what you hear may not be the truth..
and when somehow you stumbled across the fact.. its hard to believe what you see..

yesterday~

as u all know.. yesterday was labour day and yet.. i see many people working..
lol..
met up with darling baby at cityhall and we strolled along the bay at esplanade..
very windy.. loved it... =D
after which we went to catch SPIDERMAN .. aka zhi zhu ren.. =x
damn nice =D
those who havent catched it yet..
check out how venom becomes venom and how he reacts to the sound of bells.. hahahaa..
was a nice day out again =)

baby: always happy out with u.. =) u make my day as bright as ever..

dad's not feeling well these days..
i suppose smoking is the main cause of those really terrible coughs hes having now..
he wont be a addict to smoking because of heavy stress..
sigh..

saving up to buy a new bag too..
guess i will only be able to do so after 2 weeks..
$179 dollars.. i bet u all know in mind .. CRUMPLER bag..



lol..
time to upgrade myself..
or rather.. pamper myself.. hehee...
been studying maths for the afternoon... feel so contented and slack now though theres more to study for other subjects.. =/
argghh.....
stress is approaching the maximum limit...
sian lei.. 7:40pm now.. what should i do.. AHhh.. i remember.. DANCE FLOOR GRAND FINALS.. gotta watch.. hehe..
think i shall go prepare abit for a hour long tv show.. =)
thats it

ahhhhh... 2months of being a totally books free person and now im so dead..
maths seem so hard now where it was so easy 3months ago.. =(
damn.. i need help.. seriously.. lol
forgotten most of the important laws and rules of maths..
which is apparently not benefiting me..
oh god.
12397427356724692376918237
numbers pls come back..
dont anyhow fly..
=x
anyway.. i hate JAVA and its back again.. O.M.G!
wonder am i gonna get grades like.. C+, D , D+ again?
damn..

ahh.. i miss u baby.
give me a lonnnnggggg hottttttt kissssss tml yea? =x
o.o my battery life is getting shorter and shorter.. haha..
grows only with u.. =)

feel

we will be strong..
together we stand as proud as mount everest..
nothing will blow us apart..
e promises.. e everything..
we will fulfill them..
like what we believe we could do..
yea its u.. and me .. ur silly boy.. =)

tired.

im tired of how the things are today..
things that goes on around me..
things that slaps me in the face and calls me loser..
things that pours cold and heavy water on my head..
things that lets me fall onto the ground and make me scream in agony..
things that makes me think and think so much..
things that knocks me out just like that *snap*
things that tell me im weak..
things that cannot make me think calmly but only the negative thoughts..
things that they thought is nothing but they dont know the pain..
things that they really ought to know.. but cant seem to know..
and i dont know why..
maybe you tell me why..
anyone.. you out there..
yea..

sch is starting tomorrow..

yeah thats it.. end of holidays..
happy or sad? i dont know really..
oh well, its gonna be tough i guess to even have time to rest..
i must plan well.. do well..
=)
for everything.. and for you..
go eat lo~~ ^^

so unfair.

my time table is screwed.
monday : 9am - 7pm
tuesday : 1pm - 5pm
wednesday : 9am - 4pm
thursday : 10am - 5pm
friday : 9am - 1pm ( only this day quite ok )

wth? its like a year 3 student's time table..
even other poly's year 3 time table also not like this..
( u know i'm refering to u darling. =x )
anyway.. aiyah.. dunno la..
feel like .. arghh!!
1 semester leH!
the road is so tough....
oh god ( if theres any ) , please give me the strength to walk,crawl..etcetc..

envy all my friends time table..
some even dont have any lessons on tuesday..
its so so unfair..
i dont think its fair that i keep quiet..
cos its SO UNFAIR.. LOL!
=(
why la..
ok la i try to endure.. =x
time to prepare as im meeting sha gua later.. =P

a little story to tell after a short 5months.. =]

=)

its a monday.
lol.
bored.
happy tuesday to u all tomorrow.
=)

looking far far away.

4:16am.
couldnt sleep.
probably unable to do so for some time.
dont know why.
feeling not so right.
looking far into outer space.
there were more than stars.
i saw .. your face.
hope you sleep well.

need to stop.

i need to stop it..
its killing me..
maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks maple sucks
no more maple!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhh..

Dreams.

bahh... just wanna put up some thoughts that always been running around my mind.

- a laptop with the best speed, ram.. etcetc ( and get a router after that. )
- a driving license.
- save up to 50k in my bank.
- good grades.
- good CCA.
- to get married at 27. ( so my future wife is around 26 )
- CAR ( lousy one nvm.. can transport myself back home and enjoy a drive in the middle of the night is also wonderful )
- a son. ( how about a daughter as well.. ? )
- to stop taking money from my dad after NS.
- mom to cook for the family at least once a week.
- brother to lead a more realistic and down to earth life.
- last but not least, my final dream is to hope all the dreams i've mention come true.

thats it.

how unexpected.

perhaps its fated one day, even yr very love ones will leave you.
and whatever they, will come true one day.
i fear that very day.. that very day that will bring me down to tears.
why has it always got to come?
screw it seriously.
people do change, because of some people.
they became worst, their looks change, their attitude change.
sigh.
as for what i can do, is just the little bits not to burden them.
hoping that they could just smile for another time.
not asking for more.
thats it.

its 1+ in the morning

yeah.. blogging so early. lol.
actually im still in maple, but its a good thing that priest can slack while training and so i alt tab out to blog.. =P
my silly girl have just went to bed also..
got this "wanting to go bed also" feeling struck me.
lol.



hehe, look at the aunty behind us.
omg, her face.. lol.

-Saturday-

Woke up, played game..
then kylie came over to my place and we played ard..
laughed here and there.. lol.
and went to tampines for dinner ard 8pm
sent her home after that.

-sunday-

Woke up, played game..
slacked ard...
slacked a little more..
lol.. whole day slack only..

my plans for tomorrow!!
must go jogging..
been staying at home too much..
have to work out a little, if not will become very unhealthy.
nono, that aint gonna happen..
kelvin, u must make the effort to go out and exercise !
lol...
1:30am now.. wanna stop playing game already..
gonna slp soon..
what a unhealthy time to slp also
zz..
better go get some rest now..
good night everybody! ^^

family.

i now begin to feel what its like to have a broken family.
there are many things that i need to do myself.
cannot depend on anyone anymore.
i need people around me.
=(

woo.

it's saturday! ^^

nothing really went well..

woke up late..
ended up reaching my cousin's place late for tuition..
but due to some circumstances didnt have tuition and went to my aunt's friend's place for some fun..
spa, swimming, suana..
ate crabs, shark fin and chicken wings..
after which i didnt feel so well and went home..
was in terrible pain and i couldnt breath well..
my chest was so tight e pain kept coming..
so painful i couldnt play games..
nor could i talk properly..
sigh..
feeling slightly better now..
shall go sleep alr..
good night

ill add some flava into whatever i do now.

it simply just doesnt feel good.

i really dont like these days..
feels really empty..
real empty..
need something to fill up the flask of my body.
what substance do i need?
somebody tell me.

sigh.

i feel guilty.
sorry that u'll have to endure me..
=(

our hands and legs can create beautiful things.

yesterday, was a super busy day for my 1st day of hols..
after lunch, went for dancing..
woo... learnt to use my hands and legs to create many beautiful moves..
my teacher was crazyyy.. in a sense whereby he does things that not many people in singapore can do.. creativity... foundations.. etcetc..
man.. my inspiration.. 2hrs of lessons from him yesterday and i was super worn out..
after that i went to buy bk for dinner and went straight over to my cousin's house to give him tuition.. another 2hrs.. by the time we ended, it was around 10:40pm already.. totally worn out.. feeling so tired today. yawn~~ what a nice day to sleep.. haha.. probably going back to sleep in the afternoon.. =)
heh.. meeting baby for dinner later.. =)
yeah!

Woo! yeah!

this post was meant for yesterday as my brother was using the pc so it came today instead.

Alright alright! exams are finally over.. the last poly in singapore to have its long term holidays.. damn! so after i finished my paper, went home to place my bag and left straight over to kylie's home.. her TV is twice of my house's tv lor.. wah.. got this, got that.. hah.. and her colourful room too..
shallnt elaborate further...
After which we had dinner.. wooo~
fish, chicken, duck... u name it, u have it..
darn.. i was bloated.. got FRUITS after that... ^o^
met her dad for e first time, it was a nice feeling..
chit chat till nearing 11pm then i went off already..

2 months holidays for me.. 7 weeks attachment for her..
why so contradicting? =(
sigh, no matter what the challenge.. i'll endure.. for her..

HER! haha..

lots of plans for holidays though..
part time work tuition, dance, maple... etc etc.. doing the things i love..
trying to live to the max..
=)
feeling quite hungry now..
no food at home.. gonna walk over to the coffee shop near my house soon..
my first tuition lesson for my new student will start tonight!
hopefully will earn enough for future purposes..
dont wanna feel broke all the time.. sucks.. haha..
9.59am on e clock.. 1st day of holidays.. feels great.. =D
lalaa..

argh.. last paper to go... dont know what to say.. abit lazy to study liao
hahaha...
yeah...
gotta run!
cya.

Today.

As i woke up from my sleep, everything turned grey.
I was feeling gloomy like the colours around me has been ripped away.
Went to the toilet to wash my face and as i looked into the mirror, i saw a sad person. I quickly walked out of the toilet and went into my room.
I took out my text book to study in hope to forget every single thought i have.
Realise that it seems rather useless. Just wouldnt work. Laid my head on the table,
wishing that i have super natural powers to brainwash myself for today.
I then looked up and saw the photo frame you gave. I felt even more terrible deep down, that i put it away so i cannot see any pictures of you.
Laid my head on the table again, closed my eyes and trying to put you aside for a moment. Though i sometimes wonder if today was a dream and wished that maybe it is.
The more i think, the more my eyes became watery.
The more i ponder, the tears fell on my cheek.

Felt slightly better but was thinking maybe i could scream things out.
Nah, better not.
All i could do is to pour out my sorrows here.
Not brave enough indeed.
I hoped to myself that i could have a call from you once you woke up,
but felt that its just a one sided wish.
At the same time wished that you will never call till night time.
I dont know..
Just wanna see you, seem so difficult.
Your attachment starts next week and makes it even more difficult.
Its never easy to possess you for a long time.
oh well, thats life.
Even on my day off, which no books are suppose to be infront of me to make me study,
still happened.
I just wanna forget all unhappy things.
Perhaps i'll drown myself with books today.
=) yeah.
hope you'll enjoy yrself and be happy today.
yup. thats it.

Her.

Happy valentine's day =)

dear darling kylie,
i hope u liked everything i've done for you on V-day.
Although theres a little bit of messed up plans, but
i tried my best. =) LOVE YOU DEAR!

Kelvin ^^

3 main exam papers

wooo... 4 modules done... left 3 more main papers.. woo..
and i'll be a free man after that for 2months.. heh heh..
been awhile since i've blogged..
quite busy slacking actually.. =)
couldnt find time to do other stuff maybe because of the 3 papers left i guess..
just wanna slack till i've finish all papers...

=)

just wanna be there for her..
be happy is all i want her to be..
yeah!

Boring.

just another day.
go to sch.. hang out at student's lounge.. go home.. slack, study, sleep.
sigh.

=)

glad u were mine the entire of yesterday..
yeah!
mine mine mine.
i'll treat you ice cream soon alright?
4 treats to go...
pizza hut also...
but for now.. lets gogogo for our exams.
^^

i found 2 bucks on the floor today!
woo!

sigh.

so fine. yet not.

unhumane.

i dont know what my parents are thinking at times.
mostly because i always see them holding a lighted cigarette.
really makes no sense.
they smoke, they kill me too.
even though how much unhappyness i show on my face.
they disregarded my presence.
sigh.

the semester is coming to an end.
though normally people would be happy, but ironically i'm not.
dont know why.
perhaps the doubts of a smooth sailing passing to year 2.
hopefully yea.
sometimes its also the people around, either causing u to lose confidence in scoring or benefitting
you in terms of gaining extra knowledge.
seriously, i dont care.
only wanna be myself.



thats me. wish i am that happy all everyday.



thats her. wish i could see her everyday for 5mins would be enough. really enough.

School and stuff..

hmm.. sometimes i wonder, if there is really a need to stress so much on school..
1 project down already.. 2 more finishing.. the last one is really a headache..
a little worried if i can actually make it through.. the core subjects are as usual.. nothing much..
been avoiding macdonalds for a week already.. eating apples instead.. -_-
with the mentality of staying healthy, i've been changing my way of eating..

NO SPICY FOOD. ROAR.

oh well, lets just see if i would really not see the doctor forever if i keep eating apples everyday. ^^ hahaa.. like this the clinics no need to earn liao.. and the doctors can switch jobs or take a
vacation off to switzerland! anyway, the apples seem sour today.. yuck..

reached home around 230 or so? slacked all e way.. did abit of project at 4 plus.. had dinner around 745.. i wanna do study leh.. but why am i still here.. =P
aiyah... 10mins later lar.. aiyah.. awhile more lar.. aiyah.. later lar..
additions of all the "aiyah 10mins later lar".. equals to "few hours later"..
=)
no! cannot..
i better go..
aiyah.. can later? lol...
peace~

been awhile since i've last blogged..
so rainy these days till i didnt have mood for many things.. except slacking..
gonna be the end of semester 1.2 soon..
still have many things to do..
i doubt i'll have time for e usual stuff.. =(
just hope i would get through this semester smoothly..
just pass would satisfy me..

=)

seriously aiming for what i used to have.

today, after i woke up.. ate breakfast with mom and dad.
i sat in my room and started revising maths..
couldnt really bring e concentration in me.. so i decided to warm up a little by reading e news paper.. felt worst.. even more tired after that.. so i slpt from 2 till 5plus..
i then continue to practice maths.. felt really angry at myself for not paying much much attention in class.. last friday, i swap sits from the back to the front.. felt better to bring myself to work more.. hopefully i will be like what i used to be..

had dinner with mom, brother and his gf..
totally moodless at that time.. the food sucks too.. really awful..
then, i went back home first to continue trying maths..
gave up because i really have no idea..
i've gotta start planning already.. i must.. and i will..

cannot lose e momentum..
the study drive..
what i've learnt from my good friend Yisheng..
i need you man..
perhaps another study day at mac again?
wished i had joined u in JC ..
wished i had studied so hard like you..
wished ... argh.. all wishes..
they never come true..
life is so different now..
sigh..
feeling pretty pathetic at times..
yeah its 930 alr.. i've gotta stop blogging now..
=\

this entire week feels like those monday blues that we usually have..
after 3 weeks of holidays..
its gonna take quite awhile to adapt to the study mode again..
but i must... because end of semester is coming..

sigh.. my results dropped... from As to Bs..
my classmate i used to be on par with now still maintain her As while i watch myself fall..
i really hate my company now..
arrogant and self-centered people.
i think i gotta change group to the hardworking and fun bunch i used to hang out with during semester one.. would probably bring my grades back up..
=)

yeah.. thats what i hope is gonna happen..
got hope.. means have a way... =)

Happy 2007! ^^
didnt have thought that it would be such a great moment for a great year..
plans went well in the last minute...
was initially at home gaming and chatting with a friend..
we were so bored that we came up with a plan to bring our girlfriends out to east coast..
suppose to be a surprise.. but when we reach the bus stop they kept looking at the bus directory.. -.- then they knew that it was east coast...
the night there was nice..
would be better if we pitched a tent there.. hahaha...
and so, me and kylie.. sk and ys sat on the shore and enjoyed the scenery of the sea..
till 12am we saw fireworks from afar.. beautiful.. yet, only could enjoy a little bit of it..
the trees were damn big and blocking it.. =(
slacked a little more till 3am and all of us went back by cab...
great day...

TONYAN LEVEL 100!! NEW YEAR WISH GRANTED!!!
HAHA..